Our supplier's mistake is YOUR GAIN!

I accidentally got a copy of The Escapist #5 from my fine pusherman Steven Huber at Galaxy Comics -- it didn't cost me anything, I'm not particularly interested in it, and I wanted to give it to someone who will love it and squeeze it and call it George. So the first person who e-mails his or her shipping address to chaosmonkey (AT) helpmejebus (DOT) com gets it. For nothing. Because I am feeling kind and generous and I made a few bucks on my eBay auctions this week.

Ultracovers!

Kevin isn't the only guy allowed to look at old covers around here. Let's check out some of the covers I've been gracious enough to upload to the Grand Comics Database:

Do not incur my Giant Size Wrath! Okay, so, it's not Giant-Size Man-Thing, but I have to work with what I got.

Underneath all the logo-clutter and such is a really nice cover by a fellow named Dean Zachary. Yeah, even with the Jedi-braids. Steve Englehart busted his ass to make the Marvel buyout work, but he never quite made it.

I can't tell if this cover depicts a fight or if it's a poster advertising a lesbian frotteurism convention.

I know what you're thinking: "Blood Storm"? Hey, it's Steve Gerber writing and the guy's face is painted like a Jack O'Lantern, so you know it's worthwhile.

Prime's head blowed up real good. Yup. Real good.

This guy reminds me of a Japanese Transformer toy called Takotank — "tako" being Japanese for "octopus." Today's first lesson: Don't go to Tako Beru when you're in Japan.

This is one of a few really great Solitaire covers by Scott Kolins. I don't recall much about the series, but flipping through it today I got a bit of a Diabolik vibe. And the interiors are by some guy named Jeff Parker. (Look closely and you'll notice Mr. Solitaire has a bit of rebar jammed in his windpipe. Good times!)

Today's second lesson: When designing a superheroine's costume, remember that she's a woman first and a superheroine second, and sometimes a lady gets knocked up. Even if she's a lady possessed by the spirit of a 1,300-year-old warrior dude.

How could they forget Warstrike?

The last few weeks here at Casa Del Mono have been spent caring for my cat Jasmine, who had a tumor removed from her belly in June. She's doing fine, scarring up well, and acting like her normal, bitchy self. It's stressful 'cause she's got one of those little cat brains that can't understand why you're doing all this seemingly awful stuff to them. I'm pretty sure she'll forget this ever happened. At least I hope she will. That cone collar is humiliating even for me. Amelie thinks the scar will make her appear tough to the other cats.

I saw every episode of Dancing with the Stars. Every one. And the ending disappointed me. I'm going to blame it on the flu-like illness I have.

Speaking of television, how goddamned ghoulish are these tv series "R U The Girl" and "Rock Star: INXS"? It might not be so bad if, you know, they weren't using a tv show to replace dead folks. But they are. The worst is the commercial where T-Dog and Chilby say something like "We could never replace Leftover." A commercial for a show where, yeah, they're trying to replace her. No sense of irony, these people. And will the person picked have to change her name to something starting with L?

I've spent my day drinking water and scanning covers for the Grand Comics Database. Ultraverse covers. My nerdity knows no bounds. My cat Jasmine? She's named after a character from John Byrne's Next Men. Toldja. No bounds.